ASSIST FOR A FIGHT WITH A SPOUSE
An assist is an action which can be done to alleviate a present time discomfort and help a person recover more rapidly from an accident, illness or upset.
When marital tensions have been left unaddressed and unhandled for some time, they can break out with violence. Severe fights can cause an emotional upset for either or both partners, and the threat of loss occasioned by such quarrels can be profound.
Where a fight has occurred between marital partners, the following assist can be used to help handle any resultant emotional trauma of husband and/or wife.
This assist may be done by marital partners on each other after a fight or may be used by another person to help one or both partners.
1. Tell the person you are going to help them get over any adverse emotional reaction to the fight.
2. Have the person sit down in a comfortable chair across from you.
3. Say to the person, Give me places where an angry (husband/wife) would be safe. For example, if you were doing this on a wife, you would say, Give me places where an angry husband would be safe.
4. Get an answer from the person and acknowledge their answer, with a Thank you, or Good, etc.
5. Then say to the person, Give me places where an angry (husband/wife) would find you safe.
6. Get an answer and acknowledge it.
7. Repeat steps 3-6 over and over again until the person is happy again and has had a realization of some kind – about himself, his spouse, the situation or just life in general.
When this occurs, tell the person End of assist.
Be certain not to evaluate the persons answers for him or tell him how he should answer or what he should think about the situation. Do not berate the person for his answers. This is destructive and can halt all potential gain from the assist.
This assist is not a handling for the situation which caused the conflict or discord. Once the immediate upset is under control, the reasons for the fight should be ascertained. For instance, another party such as a relative or associate of a spouse may be creating friction between the marital partners. When this third party, usually hidden, is exposed as the source of the conflict, it resolves. Whatever the cause of the difficulty, a full handling for it should be worked out and implemented.